You Know You Are Addicted To Coffee If…

You sleep with your eyes open.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you.
The nurse needs a stop watch to take your pulse.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.
You’ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
People get dizzy just watching you.
Instant coffee takes too long.
You channel-surf faster without a remote.
You short out motion detectors.
You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
You answer the door before people knock.
Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
You have a bumper sticker that says: “Coffee drinkers are good in the sack.”
You can type sixty words per minute… with your feet.
When someone says: How are you? You say: Good to the last drop
You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.